365 chiastic screamers ... once again tearing into sacred cows and refurbishing old sayings.
Maybe it can take you where you've never been before?
Because the ebook is entirely FREE - absolutely FREE. Download it here now and also read the Introduction below to get an idea of what's in store for you....
Welcome to this, my second volume of original chiastic quotes.
I'll keep this short, because I may tend to ramble on too much and bore you. More particularly, all that I have to say is contained in the quotes that follow. So, you can stop reading this now, and get stuck into them now, if you want to (for now, you can see some samples below )...
I have this to add, however: I've kept the same format I had for the first volume, for this one. All of the usual suspects are here:
Just click on any one to go directly to that page. I've tried to inject more humor, and I've included more examples of implied chiasmus, being just the opposite — or nearly so — of many a well known saying.
- Just Crazy;
- Society; and
There's a total of 365 quotes. I didn't plan it that way, at all; it just so happened that, when the end of May 2002 was looming, I had concocted 362. My (self-imposed) deadline was May 31st, so I thought, what the hey — go for broke.
So, here you are: 365 quotes, being one-a-day plus irony, for each day of the year. Even one for your birthday!
Got a headache? Don't take a pill, take a quote. Want to piss off somebody at your next meal out? Have a look at "Food" for some choice morsels. Unhappy with your local or federal politicians? "Politics" has some observations you'd just love to pass on — to the wrong people.
Want to impress your buddies with your thinking prowess? Take a few samples from "Philosophy" or "Religion", memorize them and, at the right moment — amaze yourself at how quickly you get it wrong! Ahhh, just kidding, OK!
I thought about putting some crazy pictures and/or art work throughout the e-book, but I figured that would just get in the way of the words. It'd cost you more in ink to print it off, anyway, if you had to print off pictures too. Besides, if you want humor and funny captions with artwork, go by Gary Larson and buy Gary Larson instead. I would....
I have to say however, and I should have said this at the top, this e-book will probably offend those with delicate (shall I say?) sensibilities. Quite apart from the glee with which I tear into topics that are, for some, sacred cows, a few of my feverish observations are of the type that have to do with bodily functions and private habits — just the sort of disgusting(?) things most boys like to laugh about. Maybe girls also, but I'm not sure?
Anyway, as I'm now a seventy-something year old boy of 20 at heart, I have to say I still see the humor! I hope you feel the same way. (Rest assured though, there is nothing salacious, prurient or pornographic in this publication.)
On that note, I'll let you carry on. Enjoy!
So ... now, browse through a few in this volume. I hope you crack a smile or have a chuckle, as you read:
January 1st, 2002:
Some people are so mixed up they're either grumpy when others are happy or happy when others are grumpy. (Y'know, it's really depressing when you see so much mania around :)
January 9th, 2002:
I like the obscurity of anonymity, but not the anonymity of obscurity. (OK, OK, I want my cake and I want to eat it too, already!)
January 17th, 2002:
Then, as now, humor won't fix society's needs of course, but it'll give society a needy fix, now and then. (Seriously, folks, if we could all just take things a little less seriously ... hmmm?)
January 24th, 2002:
Sage advice to carpenter's apprentice: "I would not drive a nail through a knot of wood, would I?" (Well, for me, it's hard enough to make sure I hit the right nail.... ;)
January 31st, 2002:
Advice to young bachelor: "When you're playing the field, be quick about fielding the play!" (Now, we all know what being out in left field means, right? No field left — no play left either!) ;-(
February 7th, 2002:
If you're mostly interested in everybody, mostly everybody will be interested in you. (Now, if that's not obvious, well, I guess ... it's in your interest to think about it.)
February 14th, 2002:
What's the point of life's shortcuts if you cut short your life? (Better to take the long way round sometimes — you'll be round a way longer time, perhaps?)
February 23rd, 2002:
Actor's response, when asked why he refused the part: "OK ... I won't be seen dead in a dead scene, OK!" (Sometimes, you gotta read between the lines, right?)
March 3rd, 2002:
The rich may well be idle, but the idle will never get rich. (And, I'm not talking about money either!)
March 10th, 2002:
Drunken M.C. toasting newlyweds (just before falling face-down into the cake):
"May all your little ones be troubles ... er, oh, sorry —
may all the troubles you've won belittle you — ah, no, phew —
may troubles come to ones who belittle you — argh —
maybe you're just trouble for little ones, hmmm? Urp!"
(So, after that, let's hope all his troubles are just little ones , hmmm? And, just think — those types of guys drink and thrive, y'know!)
March 17th, 2002:
Self-reflective moment for overpaid politician: "The wages of sin is death, I know, so ... I wonder what retribution for the sin of my wages?" (Well, I have this fantasy, y'see: maybe some politicians see more than just their reflection in a mirror.)
March 23rd, 2002:
If you're going somewhere to war, better make sure it's a war that's going somewhere, hmmm.... (Someone should've told all those Taleban mercenaries, right? Well, maybe not....)
March 31st, 2002:
Some are born with the best of everything and do nothing; others have nothing when born but do everything for the best. (So then, is the purpose of life a life with purpose?)
April 6th, 2002:
If you want to start a change for the better, better change yourself for starters, hmmm? (And, that's probably one of the toughest things to do, I reckon.)
April 21st, 2002:
Motto for the long distance runner in Athletics:
"I live to run."
Motto for the distant long runner in Politics:
"I run to live."
(Now, let's see — the great Kenyans can have the first; take your pick for the second, I guess).
April 28th, 2002:
Wife's answer (when asked why she bought another car): "Well, he offered me a make I couldn't refuse, OK!" (Now, was that sales wunderkind on the make? Makes you kind of wonder, hmmm?)
May 5th, 2002:
Arguing about the laws of war usually degenerates into a war about laws. (That's one thing lawyers do well: charge higher fees ... for arguing!)
May 12th, 2002:
If a spicy meal doesn't 'cut the mustard', perhaps it'd be better if the mustard is cut from the meal? (Too much spice in your life? Or, maybe not enough life in your spice.)
May 19th, 2002:
Some people embark upon a life of crime; for others, it's a crime they don't embark upon life! (So — seize the day, as somebody said. Just don't seize the money, hmmm. ;)
So, just click here now to get Volume 2. And, feel free to invite others to do the same.
Copyright © 2000-2017 Roger J Burke All rights reserved.